Watching a loved one live with the effects of dementia can be challenging for any relative – but it can be especially bewildering for younger members of the family.
However, while it might be more of a challenge for younger children to interact with a grandparent with dementia, it is well worth the effort to try, as the benefits of remaining engaged with loved ones are significant.
It is also essential to assess where your parent may be in the dementia journey before planning a visit, including their ability to interact and whether this would likely be a positive experience for them.
Benefits of Children Visiting a Grandparent with Dementia
The advantages of supporting this relationship can extend to both the grandparent and grandchild, such as:
- Maintaining Connection for Both
Despite the memory challenges, visits from grandchildren can still bring joy. Time spent together can rekindle feelings of love, connection, and familial warmth. - Stimulation for the Grandparent
Interacting with younger family members can provide mental stimulation with conversations or activities and the opportunity to connect. - Compassionate Experience for the Child
Visits can offer an opportunity for children to learn about caring, patience and understanding, as well as make them more empathetic and informed about health challenges.
Common Concerns When Children Visit a Grandparent With Dementia
Prepare ahead of time. Speaking to the primary caregiver or memory care community before scheduling a visit will allow you to ask for any recommendations about responding to challenges that may arise, including:
Unpredictable Reactions: As you are likely aware, dementia can cause unexpected emotions or reactions that can be confusing or might frighten the grandchildren.
Inability to Understand: Depending on the age and ability to comprehend how dementia can affect individuals, children could be hurt or puzzled if their grandparent doesn’t recognize them.
Tips for Children Visiting a Grandparent with Dementia
If you struggle to discover how best to continue the connection, consider these tips for guidance and remember the advantages the experience may trigger.
- Prepare Your Child
Before the visit, explain the disease of dementia in terms your children can understand. Use simple, age-appropriate language and reassure them their grandparent still loves them even if he or she is unable to express it as before. - Maintain the Routine
People with dementia typically do best with structure. Understand your parent’s daily routine and when a visit might be best enjoyed. Avoid late afternoons or evenings, as those times tend to be more tiring and trying. - Reassure with Your Presence
Stay present during the visit if your children are still young. Even with teenagers, you’ll want to see how the visit is going. You provide a sense of security and can help guide your children to follow your lead and interact in a positive direction. - Introduce Yourself and Your Child
Avoid startling your parent when arriving. Depending on your loved one, it’s often better to enter the room by introducing who you and your child are. This eliminates any stress for the individual to guess who you are or why you are there. - Engage in Simple Activities:
Depending on the grandparent’s abilities and preferences, consider activities that can easily be shared without requiring conversation, such as listening to music, drawing, playing with clay or simply taking a walk in the garden. - Use Positive Language
Encourage your children to be cheerful and use positive words. If your parent would appreciate the contact, you could also let your children know beforehand that a gentle touch, like holding hands or a soft pat on the back can be reassuring. - End on a Positive Note
Even if the visit has been challenging, try to conclude with a pleasant activity or memory to leave a positive impression for both the children and the grandparent.
Children Visiting a Grandparent With Dementia: If the Visit Isn’t Going Well
Even with planning and best intentions, the effects of dementia can be unpredictable. Consider using these steps to respond if the visit isn’t going well:
Shift to a New Activity: If a particular topic or activity is causing distress, gently steer away from it and introduce something simpler and enjoyable.
Take a Short Break: If the grandparent becomes agitated or the child becomes upset, take a short break. This could be as simple as taking a brief walk outside or having a snack in another room.
Stay Calm: Children look to adults for cues on how to react. By staying calm, you can provide a sense of security for your children and help your parent navigate the situation.
Plan for Shorter, More Frequent Visits: Shorter interactions can be less overwhelming for everyone involved. It might be most beneficial for your children to visit their grandparent with dementia with more frequent – but briefer visits.
Memory Support at Presbyterian Village North
At Presbyterian Village North, we support both the individual and the family as they navigate the dementia journey.
We focus on the quality of life for our residents with a staff specially trained in the best practices of dementia care. Residents make their homes in private apartments while benefiting from the daily interactions with others and participating in our exercise, music, art and cognitive therapies.
With outdoor seating and dining possibilities, our secure garden courtyard and protected walking paths encourage our residents to venture outside while remaining safe from wandering.
We also provide the following services:
- Licensed nursing staff on site 24/7
- Medication administration
- Assistance with activities of daily living
- Chef-prepared cuisine
- Special activities and social programs
- Access to a full continuum of care
Presbyterian Village North is a compassionate resource for your loved one and your family. Please call (800) 400-4130 if you have any questions or would like to schedule a personal visit to our community.