We all have a story to tell. Not just a timeline of events or a list of achievements but a tale that provides a glimpse into our lives. They can include milestones about first love, children and careers, or the smaller but no less important moments of unexpected turns, disappointment and hope.
For families, capturing these stories can be a gift they will treasure and pass on to future generations. And for the storytellers? Having the opportunity to share their lives creates a strong sense of connection, purpose and the reassurance that they still matter.
Why Stories Are So Important
Storytelling isn’t just about reminiscing — it’s about belonging. When we ask our parents questions, it encourages them to tell us about their lives. But it doesn’t stop there. We’re also letting them know that they’re still important to us, that we think they have something worth saying and that we know they’re still writing their story.
When adult children encourage their parents to share remembrances, it can often be quite a discovery. It might be the first time they are seen as children, friends, a risk-taker or someone who never lost their longing for adventure.
Sharing stories with loved ones can also strengthen relationships. With a clearer understanding of who we are and why we may have viewed life as we did, we can build bridges where there might have been misunderstandings.
The Most Common Regret: “I Wish I Had Asked…”
There is a common but painful realization for many adult children after a parent is gone — “I wish I had asked them about…”
So the best advice is to ask your parents your questions today.
There are untold riches in their stories, beyond the family history. You may learn how they met, what it was like growing up where they were and if there was something they really wanted but didn’t get. Or was there a career path they wish they would have taken, and what do they want their legacy to be?
Unfortunately, these stories may be lost if the questions aren’t asked. Many older adults come from a generation where people didn’t talk about themselves. But when genuine interest is shown, you may discover an amazing backstory or an insight about your loved one that you didn’t know.
Questions to Ask Your Parents
If you would like to help your parents feel appreciated while getting to know them better, all you need is a little curiosity, a few questions and a willingness to listen.
Not sure what to ask? Here are a few examples of questions you can ask your parents and see if they open the door to a great conversation:
Childhood and Early Years
- What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?
- Did you have a best friend growing up? What were they like?
- What was your home like when you were little?
- What was school like for you?
Coming of Age
- How did you spend your summers as a teenager?
- What kind of music did you love?
- Do you remember your first job? What did you do with your first paycheck?
- Who was your first crush?
Historical Reflections
- What historical events do you remember most vividly?
- How was the world different when you were my age?
Personal Milestones
- How did you meet your spouse or partner?
- What was your wedding like?
- What are some moments in your life that you’re most proud of?
- What’s one decision that changed the course of your life?
Reflections and Wisdom
- What are some of the biggest lessons you’ve learned?
- What advice would you give to your younger self?
- What are you most grateful for today?
One suggestion: Use these questions as conversation starters only over several visits, and not one after another as in an interview. Ask one or two and let the stories unfold naturally.
The Benefits of Telling Their Story
When you ask your parents questions about their lives, it’s an invitation to share their stories and reaffirm their sense of identity. They’re organizing life’s experiences into meaning and can experience the following benefits:
1. Emotional Well-being
Storytelling can help reduce feelings of isolation or depression. When someone tells a story and sees their listener engaged, they feel connected.
2. Cognitive Engagement
Recalling details from the past can activate long-term memories and help boost cognitive sharpness.
3. Legacy Creation
Stories are a gift they can give to future generations while providing context, character and a deeper insight into your loved one’s life.
How Assisted Living Communities Encourage Storytelling
In assisted living, encouraging residents to share their stories helps everyone get to know the person a little better, extending far beyond the information in a care plan.
Another benefit of community life is that there are daily opportunities for storytelling. There is an audience of other residents, compassionate staff and volunteers who support the individual by letting them know their story is worth telling — and there is someone who wants to hear it.
It’s Not Too Late to Ask
Asking your parents questions and encouraging storytelling is a great activity during a visit. Bringing in old photo albums or mementos can help spark conversations. Writing down the stories or recording short interviews can be shared with siblings or the grandchildren and will likely become some of your most cherished memories.
It’s important to remember that every older adult has a story worth sharing—giving every listener the chance to honor that life.
Assisted Living at Presbyterian Village North
We believe in empowering residents to live life on their own terms, regardless of age or abilities. Our Assisted Living neighborhood is designed to help you or your loved one maintain a sense of independence and autonomy while receiving the individualized support needed to thrive. With a focus on preserving dignity, our trained professionals provide assistance with daily activities such as dressing, grooming and medication management, all while encouraging social engagement and personal growth.
Our community offers a range of services to make everyday life easier and more enjoyable, including restaurant-style dining, wellness programs and a monthly calendar of social and cultural activities.
With a nurse onsite 24/7 and a variety of spacious and thoughtfully designed residences to choose from, Presbyterian Village North is the perfect place to find peace of mind and enhanced quality of life.
Reach out today by calling (800) 400-4130 to learn more about how we can provide the care and support you or your loved one needs, all within a vibrant, caring community.